So, working at a church is proving to be very good for me. Yes, it's demanding, stressful, and at times confusing, but it's forcing me to shape up. Both physically and spiritually, I'm out of shape.
I've been in a lot of physical pain in my legs, hips, and thighs. I'm blaming inactivity. Before I got the job at the church, I had actually just started work at Lowes, but even before then I had started to get depressed because I couldn't find a job. I began spending a lot of my time in front of the tv or computer screen, sometimes at the same time. Well, after awhile of this, about 4 months, I started feeling sore, but didn't really know why. I thought maybe it was from sitting too much so I started to get up and move around and found out, the more I moved around, the less the pain.
At the beginning of May, I got the job at Lowes. I was on my feet all day. It was great. But still, any prolonged period of sitting and the pain would reemerge.
My husband and I started walking around our neighborhood park, but even that was off and on.
Around that time, I had applied for a job at our church. Preschool ministry assistant. Not exactly my cup of tea, but it was a job in the church. I also gave thought to the fact that I'd be sitting most of the day and nearly passed on the opportunity.
The opportunity passed me. Because I had just started at Lowes, it made it difficult to be available, even for just a phone call when the preschool minister would call to set up a phone interview. We played phone tag, I even emailed, but at that point it was too late. The unavailability was a turn off and I knew that.
It was then that a friend noticed the position for College Ministry Assistant.
I called, turned in my application and resume, interviewed over the phone, and then finally met and interviewed with my boss, George. A couple days later, I got the call! I was hired, and it had all gone so smoothly, that it must have been God.
Now, here I am 5 1/2 - 6 months later and I'm loving my job, but the sitting for long periods at a time is killing me. I can't sleep at night because I'm stiff and the constant throb leaves no comfortable position.
Again, my husband and I have taken up walking here and there. But just this week, I got a couple of my coworkers interested in getting in shape. We're taking two days of the week, Tuesday and Thursday, and walking around the church sanctuary. I'm not sure how far we walked today, but 7 times around is one mile, and I'm pretty sure we atleast did that. My husband and I walked yesterday too, so slowly and surely, I will get in physical shape. With the accountability of both my coworkers and husband, I'm sure of this.
Spiritually... I'm just not where I need to be. I miss God's Spirit, the all consuming presence of who he is and how he makes me feel, the burning desire to shout his name on the highest mountain.
We have weekly meetings as the college staff talk about the week before and the weeks to come. The time after the meeting, from Tuesday - Friday is spent in preparation for the College class, Freedom, on Sunday mornings.
Anyway, the time spent in our meetings is always beneficial, sometimes adventurous (check my Facebook status from 11/29), and always prayerful. It's in these prayers and spiritual discussions that I'm feeling quite inadequate. Discussions and prayers that used to come so easy are a struggle to find. Grasping the right words and saying the right thing, even knowing the right verse or Biblical reference for the discussion is difficult. I may know what I want to say, but where it comes from or how to say it are lost to me.
Granted, a prayer to God doesn't have to be eloquent, but I feel as if I've become complacent and in that, the words, the actions don't matter. But now that I'm working amongst people that are always studying, always in the word, I'm realizing just how stagnant I've become. I've gotten comfortable and I'm no longer growing as a child of God. Be hot or cold, one or the other; I feel like its worse to be in the middle, unmoving. As the saying goes, "a rolling stone gathers no moss." I don't want to gather dust or moss, I want to be that rolling stone, constantly moving toward something more. I want to kneel to pray and feel like I've reached the highest mountain top. I want to continue to move and grow up in Christ.
So to sum it all up, my physical and spiritual needs have not been met. I've spent so long looking out for everyone else and now I think it's time to look out for me. Time to grow myself and make sure I'm in good physical and spiritual shape. My husband is growing as well and I think we can grow together, alongside each other and prepare ourselves for the road ahead. So that we can help prepare our future children for the road ahead of them. And perhaps by example, show those around us and our families what it means to live a Godly life. What it means to be in shape.
Lord, help us to get in shape. Help us to be physically fit for the road ahead, but also to be spiritually fit and ready to grow your kingdom. Help us grow in you and know you more.
You are our salvation and our spring of life. Thank you for the life you've given, we are blessed beyond measure.
Amen.
